names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
