You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Randomize
