that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
