It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
