So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
