oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It's just like the Real World with babies
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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