Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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