There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
