What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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