Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
