I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
