Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
