Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
