if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
