Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
