Sry I called you an 8
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
And then he peed in my hair
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