when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
they're like a gay fantastic four
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
