SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
