Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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