I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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