Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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