Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We talked him into tasing himself.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
