my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
