You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
