i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
