Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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