Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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