What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
