Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
