chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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