I am in a vortex of obligation.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
