oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
