Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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