talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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