"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
