Where is the hickey?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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