Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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