we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
