I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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