I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
