he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
