I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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