worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
