Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
