LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
