My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I didn't notice because vodka
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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