You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
