The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize