I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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