i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize