can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
