More tranny stories later!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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