Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
