I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
