Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
