Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
babies were throwing up all over the place
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Randomize
