yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
