So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
