either way he was missing a nipple.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
What drink are we having for lunch?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
