It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
as a side note pls kill me
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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