I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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