i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I have post one night stand depression
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
