I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
