remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
