That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
