Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
