We're facebook friends in real life
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Randomize
