I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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