My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
