Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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