This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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