you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
