Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
