Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
