so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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