I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
