I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
