shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
