i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Randomize
